Extracts from a conversation

This post is dedicated to Robin Singhvi, my friend and laugh partner.

Robin speaks:

Ok we were at this party called POP. You know what that stands for? Pass Out Party...not that it means too much to me..but I was there.

So its about 5 am. at Madh Island. Everyone is sloshed beyond all senses. So I decide it's finally time to leave. There are a few other drunk souls with me. We're standing at a bus stop. And i yawn. And we all know how contagious that is...so everyone starts yawning. I'm standing on one end of the bus stop and this group is on the other...and suddenly I hear this commotion. I look around and everyone is surrounding this chick...

I'm already in the "ok now what? "just fuckin pass out rather than make a scene" mode...so i meander across to see what the commotion is about...and i see this chick standing in the middle of the crowd with her mouth WIDE open...and i mean WIDEEEE ok!

I'm like what kind of drunk behavior is this man? It was getting interesting now coz this was a new drunk trait i was seeing. There are various people trying to shut her mouth....n she has strange hands on, around and inside her mouth....supposedly trying to find a hinge or something I'm guessing...I finally come out of my boredom and ask..."Whats with this chick?"

And they tell me " she yawned. And now her jaw is stuck"
And the guy in front of me has spit in his face....coz i just laughed so hard!
I was like "WTF? what do u mean its stuck? is she like so drunk she can't shut her mouth?"

I'm befuddled....n fuckin happy at 5 in the morning! like this is a different drunk man! So someone tells me..."arre no...she opened her mouth too much and now its "unhinged" "....thats the word she uses haan...unhinged!

I was like "how the fuck can u open your mouth TOO MUCH??"
And now obviously people are annoyed at me....n i get "look just fuck off if u cant help" kinda looks. But thats not enough to deter me as u know...So I decide to volunteer in the 're-hinging' drama!

So I'm like..lemme help...I'm an engineer..hinges and screws are like backyard stuff for me...and everyone is so drunk they even buy my bullshit story and agree!

So i go up to her and tell her "ok now close your eyes". The chick looks alarmed...like any chick would, who's being asked by a random guy to close her eyes...when she should be trying to close her mouth!

But I'm like "trust me" with that innocent look and tone which u know I'm capable of...n she does...

So then I start massaging her eyes...then her cheeks ...and just poke around anywhere. There's utter silence around me. Everyone thinks I'm doing this scientific shit to help it close. And one chick asks me...."oh your like trying to slide it into place?"
I'm like "exactly"
And u can NOT imagine the resilience it took to not laugh at that point of time!!! I had a stomach ache trying to prevent myself from bursting out!!
so then after 5/10 minutes of this massage....I'm like...."hmmm..not helping...should we just smash it into place??"
And I draw gasps and screams from the girls around ...and terrorized 'aaaaabbbbaaaayyyyaaa" from the girl with the open mouth
so I'm like..."then nothing can happen. just take her like this to the doctor"
they agree! is this still sounding reallll???

The bus comes in right on cue. Everyone gets in. By now the girl has drool all over her dress coz her mouth's been open for 30 minutes now.

She has this friend...fuck they were telepathic i tell u. The girl goes "aaaaayyyyyaabbbbaaaa"....and I'm like what the fuck is trying to say man...and her friend is like "she says 'whatever whatever'"
I'm like "huh? how the fuck do u know?" she just shrugs me off...and i have this stoned smile on my face...I'm high on laughter by now!

Meanwhile the conductor comes....still groggy I'm guessing...and sees this chick.....with her mouth open. And fuck swati...that expression! Priceless is not the word!! It's beyond "WHAT THE FUCK?" amplified a million times! He's like "FUCK ME SIDEWAYS! 20 years of service and this has to be a first"

The open mouth girl goes "aaaayyyaaayayaa" and I'm laughing and her friend is giving me a dirtttty look...and the conductor is looking at each one of us...and doesn't know what the fuck is going on!!
I'm like what the fuck is she trying to say man! And her friend is like "she's asking for a ticket to andheri station!"
"WHAAAAAA????"

Meanwhile there are attempts to stop the drool. At first the drool girl uses her handkerchief to clean...but then its too full of spit to be of any use...so that goes out of the window.
And then swati! then is the bestttttttt part!!!!
I don't know from where....but these guys find a newspaper ok...and guess what they do!! Fucking drunk bastards!!
They roll it into a ball and stuff it into her mouth!!

And by now I'm lying flat out on the last seat of the bus....n there is unbridled laughter!! I've never ever swati laughed so much and so hard in my life!!

P.S.
ahem...my sympathies with the girl and her friends ... but this was too bizzare a conversation to not put up on my blog... please excuse