blah, my saviour

They were back again. Hoping I'd bend a little this time. After all, a girl who smiles so sweetly can't be all that bad no?

There was a newcomer this time. All of them had been invited to dinner by mother dearest who is soon going to become a saint.
He started. Lets call him BLAH : So swati, lets say the prayers before meals.
SWATI, SMILING SWEETLY: Well, you guys can go ahead. I'l just finish some work I have.
BLAH Oh no no...that would never do...Have you said the I Believe today?
ME: Well...no...
BLAH: Ok we'll say it now then...you can repeat after me...I Believe in God...repeat repeat...
ME: (smile a little strained now) Well I can't repeat it if I don't believe no?
BLAH: WHAT??? (i think he'll have a heart attack..mum call the ambulance please) You don't believe????!!!
ME: (sweet smile back) : why, hasnt my mother told you yet??
BLAH: (trying to compose himself) You don't believe in the Christian God?
ME: (smile firmly in place) : I thought you guys say all god's are the same...anyways, I don't believe in any god.
BLAH: you mean you don't believe in God only???
ME: (yea dumbhead...what have I been saying for so long???? kind of look on my face)
BLAH: ok...do you believe America exists?
ME: yes
BLAH: but you haven't seen it, then how can you say so?
ME: because I feel so.
BLAH: and you don't feel god exists?
ME: u gottit
BLAH: and what if I were to say that I don't believe anything you wrote for The Indian Express
ME: (huh?? where did poor Indian Express come into this??) You are free not to believe...and definitely don't believe a lot of what Times of India, Mirror and Mid-day print either...most of it is lies..
BLAH: (losing patience now) thats besides the point...what if I say that I don't believe you exist...
ME: You are free to believe what you wish...


AAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY COULDN'T THIS MAN UNDERSTAND THAT I DIDN'T GIVE A DAMN IF HE BELIEVED I EXISTED OR NOT. WHY COULDN'T HE SEE THAT JUST AS I HAD GIVEN HIM THE FREEDOM TO BELIEVE IN MY NON EXISTENCE, I NEEDED THE FREEDOM TO BELIEVE IN THE NON EXISTENCE OF GOD. WHY THE HELL ARE THEY TRYING TO SAVE ME?

I mean, are they all so dumb? Doesn't a single one see reason? I may be wrong, ultimately, and there really might be a kind, caring, compassionate god. But who are they to force me into believing in him? Imagine forcing someone to believe in God.

But then, isn't that what most people do to their children? Tell them about this great god, when their minds are most impressionable. Much later, this ingrained truth is indeletable. The children, most of whom have no lives apart from their studies and play, will hardly think or ponder over what has been handed down to them by generations. They grow up believing that good is rewarded and bad is punished. How naive are they...they even believe that the old blind woman down the street, who has been discarded by his family, is in this situation because of his own wrong doings, that the prostitute is in the whorehouse, because she is evil...It's all the work of this great caring loving god.

And what about the baby who was born without a spine, or the one who was smothered to death after her birth because she happened to be a girl...what about them? The answer usually is about some sins committed in their past lives or the even easier - that they will be rewarded their place in heaven soon. Bah! Hypocrites! Fools!

Finally BLAH was incensed enough to walk out of the house, but mother dearest insisted he stay for dinner. So he stayed, and ate the meal in silence, like a good boy.